برنامه خدا

خدا برای تمام عالم برنامه داره، همه باید سر به فرمان و مطیع باشند که هستند آسمان و زمین و هر آنچه در آن هاست از یک نظم به خصوص و خدشه ناپذیر تبعیت می کنند اما این وسط انسان این قدرت انتخاب را دارد که این برنامه را بپذیرد یا برنامه ی خودش را بچیند. در برنامه ای که انسان برای خودش می چیند هیچ دل خوشی ای نیست من ترجیح می دهم سر به فرمان کائنات باشم که در آن
آرامش ابدی است. همان چیزی که من آرزویش را دارم
خدایا همه دورو بریارو بیرون کردی و منو تک گذاشتی که خودم باشم و خودت؟ باشه من آماده ام هر چی که لازمه تعلیم ببینم یادم بده تو بهترین مربی ای، قابل اعتماد و عالی هستی نه مثل این استادای بی انصاف ما بپیچون و از خود راضی. خدایا هر چیزی که برای داشتن آرامش در زندگی لازمه به من یاد بده قول می دم بنده خوبی باشم و نق نزنم، صبور می شم و تحمل می کنم تا به بار بشینم درست مثل درخت میوه، دوست دارم ای خدا

P.S

How about thinking of a "good future"? like "I will find my soul mate" or "I will find friends who're also interested in sightseeing and hiking and we'll enjoy taking trips to countryside". It feels good, isn't it?! I can't work for good income or good job or something like these, that's for sure, however I'm interested in business and financial stuff. I like to manage my income and invest in good opportunities. I don't like a monotonous life like employees. A life like that is miserable! Although I'd start my work with this option I don't like to dream about it, there's nothing inspiring in being an employee. What a LONG post script.

Eureka eureka!

I found it! I found what's wrong with me! I need a partner! Yes that's why I'm almost all the time depressed because when I'm working on something hard I'd like to think about a good life, I mean pleasures, for example I imagine I'm working and suddenly my cellphone rings it's my partner(whoever fiance, husband, boyfriend, etc.) and he's talking about a date at the weekend in a cool and cozy coffee shop or restaurant in the evening, I say that's good because the week is full of errands to run and I'd be glad to unwind on the weekend. Then I hang up the cellphone, energized and ready to work for a week powerfully! I REALLY need REAL love.
Or at least I'd like to be sure that I'm going to spend my vacation in a beautiful countryside. I love nature and photography that inspires me.
Yeah I found why I can't do the real stuff, because I need positive and beautiful thoughts to proceed and for now that positive thought is a "soul mate".

حالم اصلا خوب نیست

حالم اصلا خوب نیست یه دفه یه عالمه خوراکی خوردم حالم بده بد

The one I need

Why don't you understand that I need you to cheer me up?! Is it a devilish demand? I don't know, maybe, but I'd like to talk to you, I really miss you. I feel you're the one who can understand all my dreams and ambitions. Come on don't be such a nerdy and shy guy!
God maybe you're the one who I have to talk to when I'm bored. God I've got tasks to do for tonight but as you know I can't go for them. I need something, something refreshing. Although doing the real stuff is refreshing. Enough coward let's do it, look! Mohammadreza has just come online! he can help me! thanks God, you're so merciful!

Facebook

I check my facebook, I pretend I don't know what I'm looking for, I check his page, waiting to see some updates, there are some but none of them is related to me, I check my messages and read his message again, it doesn't satisfy me. I want a message from him or a comment on my post. I miss him, I don't know him but I need to be in relationship with someone. I feel he's very close to me. I've gone to mountain climbing one hundred times with him in my imagination. I've talked to him many times in my daydreams. He's pleasant I enjoy   looking at him, chatting with him and whatever includes HIM! God I'm bored and exhausted that's why I'm in despair and depressed.

When you face difficulties

When you face difficulties, you start to nag, you wanna change everything but it's not possible. It seems there's tight tie and you won't go to an other level in your life until you open up the tie and solve the problem.